Lou Ion (M)

• The central scientist/hero.

• Lou is essentially the straight-faced hero of the terrible sci-fi movie everyone has wandered into. He's an ordinary scientist faced with the decidedly extraordinary responsibility of saving Earth.

Anne Ion (F)

• Lou's wife and partner in world-saving.

• Anne begins in the familiar B-movie role of "hero's wife," but becomes involved in the increasingly ridiculous attempt to prevent catastrophe.

Susan Smiths (F)

• Lou's sister-in-law.

• Susan is notably forgetful/absent-minded and provides a considerable amount of character comedy.

Ian Ion (M)

• Lou's long-lost fraternal twin brother.

• Even the phrase "long-lost fraternal twin brother" tells you exactly what kind of play you're dealing with.

Scientist #1 (M/F)

• A stereotypical person of science.

Scientist #2 (M/F)

• Another scientist, written female but likewise flexibly cast.

Scientist #3 (M/F)

• Yet another scientist.

• Scientist #3 spends virtually the entire play saying very little before suddenly delivering a major emotional speech at precisely the worst possible moment. 

Range Parker (M/F)

• The Park Ranger.

• Yes, the ranger's name is Range Parker.

• That should tell you most of what you need to know about the playwright's sense of humor.

• A heightened authority-character role in the B-movie universe.

Alien 1 (M/F)

• An alien from "Outside Space"

• The aliens give you enormous opportunities for physical comedy, vocal choices, costume silliness and deliberately terrible "alien" behavior.

Alien 2 (M/F) 

• Another alien from "Outside Space"

• The aliens give you enormous opportunities for physical comedy, vocal choices, costume silliness and deliberately terrible "alien" behavior.

Major Private Jr. (M)

• Military leader.

• Even the military ranks are jokes.

• The character represents the wonderfully incompetent/overconfident military authority common to old science-fiction films.

Private Browser (M/F)

• Military personnel

Private Public (M/F)

• Military personnel

Teen Guy (M)

• A local teenager

• They're intentionally archetypal characters rather than deeply psychologically complicated teenagers—which fits the genre parody.

Teen Girl (F)

• A local teenager

• They're intentionally archetypal characters rather than deeply psychologically complicated teenagers—which fits the genre parody.

The Killer Man from the Sun (M)

• A killer man that comes from the sun 

The Announcer (M/F)

• The Announcer begins as the narrator, apparently existing outside the action, describing what's happening. 

• Except the narrator increasingly becomes part of the theatrical insanity.

The Creature (M/F)

• Mysterious & monstrous.

Audition Guidance

This show is a love letter to really bad science-fiction movies. The world may end. Aliens may invade. Monsters may appear. Scientists will make discoveries that probably violate several laws of physics, and your character believes every second of it.

At these auditions, I'm not looking for you to prove that you're funny. I'm looking for bold choices, commitment, timing, physicality, listening, and your willingness to try something ridiculous without being embarrassed by it. You may be asked to make strange noises. You may become an alien. You may become a monster. You may possibly become an inanimate object. Whatever happens, commit to it. The more seriously you take the ridiculous circumstances, the funnier they will probably become.

Be bold. Make choices. If something doesn't work, try something else. And above all: have fun. This is supposed to be fun!